Q. My husband and I recently discovered that our closest friends (another couple) are having an open relationship. They say they are “polyamorous.”
Did they actually say their relationship is open? Some polyamorous relationships are closed, but people hear the word and they think "open relationship."
I am having a very hard time accepting this.
How does this change the letter writer's life?

They were in our wedding, and we were in theirs. In the last 10 years I can’t remember having a single disagreement with them, but I can’t seem to get past this.
Really? So much history, getting along so well, being so close, and this is just too much?
They didn’t even tell us about it. We found out because the husband was hanging all over another woman very publicly at their annual party. My husband found out what was really going on through another longtime friend.
Could that be what was really upsetting? That this letter writer thought this couple was so close but didn't discuss this with them?


The couple says they are both sleeping with this other woman. It didn’t look like that, though. The husband didn’t pay any attention to his wife all night.
How does that mean they couple wasn't telling the truth about them both sleeping with her? Did you expect the wife to French kiss her in the middle of the party?