Sunday, October 22, 2017

Females Who Mate With Their Brothers and Fathers

Fruit flies... we're talking about fruit flies. Below is the news I found on my own, but first is this take on it by Alex B. Berezow at, provided by a kind friend of FME. Don't be shy about calling my attention to anything relevant to this blog.

The article says "inbreeding" isn't all bad, despite popular notions...
If acted upon by natural selection, bad mutations can be wiped out more easily, thus speeding the rate of evolution. And for some reason, third- and fourth-cousins that marry each other in Iceland have more children.
But what about the fruit flies?
When given a choice between a brother or a non-brother, females preferred mating with their brother. But, males did not prefer their sister. They simply tolerated mating with their sister, picking them roughly half the time. Similarly, females showed no preference when choosing between their father or a non-father, picking their dad about 50% of the time. Males wooed their moms, but no successful mating occurred.
The authors conclude that inbreeding occurs in fruit flies because it may increase their inclusive fitness.
The  article's author makes bigoted comments to make it clear he is disgusted, or at least wants us to think he's disgusted.

Source: Loyau A, Cornuau JH, Clobert J, Danchin É (2012). "Incestuous Sisters: Mate Preference for Brothers over Unrelated Males in Drosophila melanogaster." PLoS ONE 7(12): e51293. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0051293
I am compelled to point out that consaguinamory and consanguineous sex or marriage do not necessarily mean inbreeding, and most children born to close relatives are healthy. And, as I often mention, what happens with other species, especially ones as different as fruit flies, doesn't necessarily apply to humans. But it is fun to have information like this handy when someone tries to tell you that consanguinamory is unnatural. Funny thing, is, none of these people who say this go a single day of their lives without unnatural things.

Here's the journal piece I had already found on this...
We investigated male and female mate preferences with respect to relatedness in the fruit fly D. melanogaster. Experiments offered the choice between a first order relative (full-sibling or parent) and an unrelated individual with the same age and mating history. We found that females significantly preferred mating with their brothers, thus supporting inbreeding preference. Moreover, females did not avoid mating with their fathers, and males did not avoid mating with their sisters, thus supporting inbreeding tolerance. Our experiments therefore add empirical evidence for inbreeding preference, which strengthens the prediction that inbreeding tolerance and preference can evolve under specific circumstances through the positive effects on inclusive fitness.
The information is extensive, complete with many references. It is good reading for those of you who enjoy scientific journals.
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Saturday, October 21, 2017

Is Being Poly Genetic?

The Ferrett addresses, “Polyamory Genetic? Is Homosexuality Genetic?”

My thoughts on a genetic polyamory link are the exact same as my thoughts on a genetic homosexual link:

I don’t care.

Right! We have many things, including the technology I’m using to write this and you are using to read this, which are not part of our genetics. What difference does it make? See Discredited Argument #5.

Even if the gays were, as some suggest, all conspiring in one big plot to annoy us fine-thinking straight people, wincing as they sucked distasteful d--- and reluctantly chowed p---y out of some misplaced form of rebellion, it should still be allowed.

The truth is, gay sex is between consenting adults, and it hurts no one but those adults – there are way more deadly car accidents caused by beers than queers. You may consider gayness to be a bad choice, but two people should be free to make bad choices together. And what people want to do for fun in their private life is something that should be allowed, no matter how distasteful it may be to me.

Agreed. See Discredited Argument #1.

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Friday, October 20, 2017

There Is No Good Reason to Deny the Consanguineous Freedom to Marry

Over and over again, we see there is no good reason to deny people in consanguinamorous relationships their right to be together, including their freedom to marry. There is no good reason to deny full marriage equality for all adults.

Anti-equality bigots don't have good arguments, so instead of arguing they'll usually say, after making their ignorant assertion, something like "I'm not going to discuss this any further!" or they'll try to insult the person who disagrees with their hateful, prejudiced statements.

Repeating the same prejudiced assertion over and over again isn't an argument.

The rhetorical equivalents of jumping up and down, rolling eyes, pointing, and saying "See! We said this would happen!" is not an argument.

Recently [a while ago now], a bunch of sister publications profiled a couple who are Friends of FME and Friends of Lily and even more recently, professional anti-equality websites printed reactions because they knew it would get them a lot of hits. Their readers actually like to read about these relationships, as is obvious from their reactions and comments. Of course they claim to protest, but their actions betray them. They read, and then shriek into the echo chamber a few of the usual Discredited Arguments, often #1, 4, 18, and 22.

They don't bother to consider that the couple in the article not only were not raised together, but didn't even know of each others' existence until they were heading for middle age. The haters don't bother to take into account this couple will not be having children. They do not grasp that saying "they'll have mutant babies!" doesn't apply because they're not going to be having babies together. (These people often have much ignorance about human sexuality and reproduction.)

I replied to the tweets from the official accounts, and that prompted some rabid haters to attack me. They kept repeating Discredited Arguments 1, 18, and 22 and restating what they thought was going on, as if these were reasons the lovers shouldn't be together. They kept addressing me as though I was someone in the article, demonstrating a lack of a grasp on basic reality.

I detail the Twitter exchanges below, but I offer a TRIGGER WARNING because of their bigotry, which includes transphobia, homophobia, ableism, anti-equality, anti-consanguinity, and sexual assault.

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Thursday, October 19, 2017

Frequently Asked Question: Why Is Incest Illegal?

It shouldn’t be illegal anywhere, as you’ll see. As always, we note that we are talking about consensual incest (consanguinamory), such as between consenting adults, and between minors close in age. We are not talking about anything involving coercion or force or molestation. There are laws against rape, assault, and molestation, and they should remain. We are talking about consensual incest, consanguineous sex and marriage, and consanguinamory, whether initiated through Genetic Sexual Attraction or not.

Short answer: It isn’t illegal everywhere, but where it is, it is the lingering result of sex-police holdovers, superstition, prejudice, and legislative inertia.

Long answer:

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Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Open Letter to the Accomplished and Famous: Come Out Consanguinamorous

We know you're there. You're generally famous or at least famous in your industry, mostly because you're highly accomplished. And... you're consanguinamorous or have experience with consanguinamory. Some of you need to come out.

You're a performance artist, whether an actor or singer or musician or model.
Or you're someone who's held executive positions in the biggest companies.
Or you're an academic.
Or you're a top athlete.
Or a high ranking member of the military.
Or a journalist or author with national stature.
Or... you have some other place in life.

Whatever the case, you've "made it." You have the admiration and respect of a lot of people.

But what hardly anyone knows about you is that you are enjoying, or have enjoyed, a special relationship with a close relative, or you might even be exclusively or primarily attracted to close relatives. Maybe you have an unrequited attraction; the other person knows about it, but the two of you have not become "double bonded."

You need to seriously consider coming out.

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Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Where Are They Now?

Some people, while not themselves involved in consanguinamory, are turned on by erotica with an incest theme. Some people who are, or have been, involved in consanguinamory want nothing to do interacting with or providing masturbation material for the first group. This causes friction when these two groups intersect at incest websites. (As always, I’m referring to adult consensual sex.) Some discussion forums have deliberately maintained a policy prohibiting pornographic images or videos. Some of the antiporn sentiment within the consanguinamory community mirrors a general population antiporn sentiment that adult videos and images aren’t good representations of, or are even antithetical to, the reality of intimacy and lovemaking.

I'm not here to take sides on that issue. I try to keep this blog a safe and welcoming place to visit for all.

The rest of this entry is about a specific set of such explicit adult incest videos that have been widely circulated, as I have a curiosity about the participants. Click to read more only if you want to read or comment on this subject. [I am bumping up this entry because it is still relevant. Check the comments below for some updates.]
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Monday, October 16, 2017

Oregon Still Wasting Resources Prosecuting Consenting Adults

Here's an update on lovers we last covered on this blog over two years go.

Why are the authorities in Oregon still wasting time, energy, and money prosecuting consenting adults for loving each other? This doesn't help anything. It just makes things worse, and is unconstitutional.

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New to This Blog or Looking to Find Out More?

We support the rights of an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any other union offered by law), and any of those things without the others, with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. These are basic human rights and it shouldn't matter who is disgusted by the relationships of other adults or who doesn't understand why the adults would want to be together.

If you're viewing the desktop/laptop version, you'll see that over there in the column on the right you can find ways to connect and to follow this blog, and at the top of the page are tabs with drop-downs of some important pages, entries, and links. If you're viewing a mobile version, many of the links are below.

You are welcomed and affirmed here regardless of your gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities, and whether you are looking for more information, are in the closet or out about your gender, sexual orientation, or relationship, or want to be an ally. Are you here because of polyamory or polygamy? Perhaps you're here because this blog covers Genetic Sexual Attraction or consanguinamory (consensual incest) or because you think or know your partner has been involved? Do you need help? Whether you're a family member or friend who is looking for more information, or a journalist, or are someone who is looking to help the cause, we hope you are helped by what is here.

There's an About This Blog page, and you can read about the triad who originally inspired this blog.

There's a Glossary so that you can become familiar with terms frequently used here.

We explain why we need solidarity in supporting full marriage equality and we debunk all the arguments that you'll ever hear made against equality, so if you're against equal rights, please carefully read through that page.

On the Case Studies page we feature interviews with people who have been denied their rights, so you can "meet" people who are, or have been, in consensual loving relationships who have are harmed by the lack of equality under the law.

This blog is a labor of love. There's no advertising and we don't accept monetary contributions. Want to help? Spread the word. If you are a lawyer, attorney, or someone who works with a legal group or law firm, we'd like to hear from you if you are supportive. Also, this blog DOES accept content submissions (Keith can be contacted at... fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com), but makes no offer, implicit nor explicit, of compensation nor guarantees that it will be used. If you want to tell your story, that would be very helpful to others!

Tell us what you think by commenting or by contacting us.

Join our Facebook group "I Support Full Marriage Equality."

Keith wants to be friends with all who support full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults. Be Facebook friends with Keith.

Follow the Twitter account for this blog.

Follow the Tumblr blog for Full Marriage Equality

The Final Manifesto is another excellent blog.

If you don't want to connect, still feel free to send Keith a note at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Myths about Genetic Sexual Attraction
Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory
Bad Reasons to Deny Love
Ten Reasons Why Consensual Incest is Wrong (Sarcastic) 

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Saturday, October 14, 2017

Living Consanguinamorously - Dating Outside the Family

"Is it cheating to keep or start being with my relative while dating people outside the family?"
Cheating, which is not to be confused with ethical nonmonogamy, is violating existing agreements with one or more lovers while letting them believe the agreement continues to be in effect and unaltered. So if you have an ongoing sexual relationship with a close relative or family member you will keep, or you are pursuing one, you should not indicate to potential new lovers outside the family that you'll be sexually exclusive with them.

While many people find consanguinamorous relationships to be the best, or are consang in orientation, others are polyamorous (especially as an orientation) and either don't find other consanguineous lovers or have a need for someone who happens to be outside of the family. They might even want a unrelated lover as practical matter, whether due to discrimination against consanguinamory or not. Please do not make someone an unwitting beard, however; it's generally a bad idea to deceive someone entering into a committed relationship with you because you aren't or can't be out about your orientation, relationships, or sex life.

There is not necessarily a need to tell potential new lovers you're involved in or pursuing consanguinamory. In most cases, outing yourself would be a bad idea, especially since consanguinamory is still illegal in many places. However, in many more places, ethical nonmonogamy has mostly been decriminalized or wasn't criminalized in the first place, depending on where you are, so it is far less of a problem to be out as an ethical nonmonogamist.

Do It This Way

Unless you want someone who'll know everything about you and what you do, or you're looking for an informed beard, the best approach when attempting to start new relationships or connect with new lovers is to share with them that 1) you're not going to be sexually exclusive with them and 2) you will not be telling them about your over lover(s). (We're assuming your consang partners are informed and agreeable.)

For some people, this will be the end of seeing you. You have to accept that.

Others will accept those terms and will keep seeing you. They may or may not have the same terms themselves. 

There may come a time when you've determined it would be good to tell your unrelated lovers about some or all of your consanguinamorous involvements. Since this would be a change in your agreement, you should ask them if they are willing to agree to this change (in other words, ask if they want to hear about your other lovers), and you should let them know whether this will be an ongoing change or if this is just a momentary one. Please consider that they may not be willing to change their terms, such as if they have previously maintained that they will not be telling you about their other lovers. That can be a part of how you determine whether or not to share new information.

The possible positive reactions could range from basic acceptance, being an ally, thinking it is sexy, wanting details, wanting to watch, wanting to participate, or sharing information about their own experiences with consanguinamory, so be prepared to reset boundaries depending on your comfort and needs and those of your consang partner(s).

Note that this way of handing nonmonogamy can be applied to just about any relationship. Be honest, but you can be honest in ways that still protect you and others. Don't promise anything you can't deliver. Explain your needs, your boundaries, your expectations, and what you will bring to the relationship; what needs of theirs you can meet. Accept that you may change and others may change, but do not rely on the possibility that others will change to be more to your liking. Don't do, or allow to be done to you, anything to which you don't consent, and don't do anything to others to which they haven't consented.

Sharing Property, Contracts, and Parenting with an Unrelated Lover

Casual romance, sex, or play is one thing, but if you get to a point with an unrelated lover that you're considering doing something serious with them, like buying a home or making other significant purchases; co-signing contracts such as marriage licenses, domestic partnerships, business partnerships, leases; or raising children together, it would be a bad idea to do so without being out to them as consanguinamorous and having their support, especially if you live where consanguinamory is still criminalized. Again, making someone an unwitting beard should be avoided. The last thing you want is to have a home, retirement account, and 2.3 children with someone and have them shocked to discover you in bed with your cousin/sibling/parent/whomever and then turning you over to be prosecuted.

Yet Another Reason For Full Marriage Equality

Discrimination against consanguinamory pressures people to cheat and deceive rather than being open and honest. With full marriage equality and the removal of laws, stigmas, and prejudices against consensual sex and relationships, people will be much less likely to feel a need to sneak around and hide. They will have more freedom to talk about what they need and want and to seek the relationships in which they'll best function, and that will make things better for everyone.


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Friday, October 13, 2017

Cautious Consanguinamory

So, someone you already love wants to love you more, and you want to love them more; you’re mutually attracted. And you’ve considered the pros and cons and have decided to go for it. You want to add sexual affection to your relationship.

But you feel a need to go slowly.

You could be nervous and very cautious because it is new, because such experiences are an unknown to you, or because you’ve internalized cultural prejudices.
How do you move forward with care?
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Let's Break the Silence and Bring People Out of the Shadows and Closets

One definition of "taboo" is "a social or religious custom prohibiting or forbidding discussion of a particular practice."

That means it is possible for many people to be doing something and still have it "taboo" in the sense that nobody talks about it, at least not openly or publicly. The problem with not talking about things is that such silence can lead to serious negative consequences.

Thanks to technology, people can search out information about something without having to ask someone they live with or next to, or a teacher.

Want to know the most popular entry for this blog?

It's not even close.

The most popular entry on this blog, by far, is the entry addressing a frequently asked question of "How Common is Consensual Incest (Consanguinamory)? People from all over the world, but especially North America, Europe, India, and Australia, use search engines to answer the question, and those searches bring them here. The geography is no doubt a reflection of the blog being written in English. (Perhaps I should post more translated entries?)

Before going further, let’s make it clear this entry is talking about sex or sex-play or exploration that is consensual (we’ll call it Category S), not anything involving assault, molestation, or coercion (Category X). We shouldn’t have to reiterate that “sex” means consensual, but unfortunately we still do. (It’s not sex if it isn’t consensual, it is assault.)

The volume of searches and visits can't be accounted for solely by curiosity and journalistic or academic research. Some of that volume is from people who are, were, or want to be involved, or think or are certain someone they know is, perhaps even their partner. We know this because of the comments they leave and the messages they send, and all of the other entries they visit after coming to the blog through their initial question.

Based just on searches that invoke the question and other searches that find this blog*, there are a lot of people who have been involved, are involved, or want to be involved sexually or romantically, or want to be married to, someone law or custom forbids as too close of a relative. Yes, some people are completely disgusted by the thought, but clearly there are many who aren't. And some people are unable to hear or read anything about Category S without thinking of Category X, perhaps because they have been assaulted, which is terrible, but we should not avoid talking about sex because of assault. Even if person A is disgusted by the thought persons B and C having sex, or doesn't understand why these people are involved, persons B and C should be free to be together how they mutually agree.

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Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Coming Out Day

Even with the US Supreme Court decision bringing all states online with the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry, and some recent laws enacted for the protection and rights of LGBT people in the US and other countries, life can be tough for someone whose identity and orientation doesn’t fit in to a little heterosexual, monogamous, "traditional"-gender-role box or whose relationship doesn’t meet the local sex police’s approved standards. Sometimes, a person or the people in a relationship want to come out of the closet. Sometimes they need to come out. For some of these people, it is a little less difficult if they do so as part of a communal event, such as National Coming Out Day.

National Coming Out Day is today, October 11. Here’s the official website, at least for the US. There is much helpful information there, regardless of where you live.

The more people that come out, the more the others around them will realize they do know and appreciate people who are LGBT, or polyamorous, or consanguinamorous, and that such people and relationships deserve equality. So coming out helps progress.

On the other hand, it is understandable that any given person, couple, triad, or quad decides to stay in the closet for now. There’s still so much hate, so much prejudice and persecution, and even unjust laws that hinder the life and love of people who are good citizens and just want to be themselves. I support the decision of anyone who believes they need to be reserved for now for the sake of their safety and family.

The decision to come out is yours. Do you want to come out, and to whom? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Your classmates? Your neighbors? Your crush? The whole world?

Also, if someone comes out to you, the decision to be an ally is yours. If your classmate, coworker, neighbor, friend, parent, child, or sibling comes to you and says they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, transgender, polyamorous, or in a consanguinamorous relationship, what will you do? Will you choose love and acceptance?

Even if you are heterosexual, monogamous, and nonconsanguinamorous, you may want to come out as an ally for full marriage equality. That alone can take courage, but it helps.

If you are planning to come out, or you do come out, please feel free to share your experience here by commenting.
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